At the hostel yesterday, someone with expensive-looking clothing and panicked eyes told me he is in hell as he navigates his unexpected new life without a high-paying career. The $14K he received from selling his car is now gone, and today he was attempting to feed himself with a promotional gift card from a pizza restaurant.
I offered him my cereal and milk – one of those combinations that stretches a dollar far – and he politely declined. He said he had noticed I’d been eating cereal and ramen all week and I explained that this was a choice I was making so I could spend my money on a hostel bed and beers with friends. The fact that I could afford all three speaks to a degree of resourcefulness - and extreme privilege.
My new friend was dealing with strong emotions so I didn’t burden him with unwanted advice, but there were so many resourcefulness tricks I wanted to share in case he didn’t know of them. Tricks such as buying tuna and tortillas for $3 to make three meals with, which may feel better than spending thirty minutes on the phone with customer service trying to make a gift card work (mental energy is a resource to be managed, too!)
I didn’t share my practice of scavenging takeout packets of mayonnaise from the hostel kitchen to save a couple dollars on jar of mayonnaise for those sandwiches. I didn’t tell him that I use the remainders of shampoos left behind in the showers or I hand wash my clothing in the sink to save quarters.
I did tell him that I have occasionally lived on $14K a year because it seemed he needed hope more than anything.
He noticed my shattered phone and kindly offered me one with fewer cracks. I felt surprised he wouldn’t try to sell his cracked phone on eBay for a few bucks and asked if he was sure he could part with it. It seemed to me that he was so overwhelmed with the large losses he was ignoring the tiny gains. Perhaps he couldn’t see the broken phone translate into a couple of meals, or perhaps he was too traumatized to care.
Perhaps it really didn’t matter. He gestured to his iPhone and explained that this one would be repossessed in a couple days, as he couldn’t make the payment.
I offered him a brownie and a coffee cake and he delighted in taking them, which delighted me in turn. It was time to check out of the hostel, so I wouldn’t know if his gift card ever worked. Hoping he would find confidence in his new self as he navigates this new life, I gave him my phone number and asked to stay in touch. I wanted him to be able to access my resourcefulness as a resource should he need it.
Learning Resourcefulness
“I did tell him that I have occasionally lived on $14K a year because it seemed he needed hope more than anything.”
I love this line and how it speaks to the power of set and setting. Understanding that context is important and that there is a time and place for all things is a wonderful mindset.